The Prosecco Express The world around her is getting married, having children, and streaming off to buy slow cooker crock pots and buggies. Joanne owns nothing and has birthed nothing and despite some ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE (incredibly minor) comedic achievements, her mother is still trying to convince her to go back and study nursing. Due to her thirties age box, Joanne spends her weekends celebrating other people’s milestones at their garden parties drinking prosecco out of jam jars. She is full of questions, her main one being if she doesn’t have a child, who will be obligated to watch her die so she doesn’t have to do it alone? She’s a people’s person, she’s just not sure she’s a raising people’s person. And what if she doesn’t marry anyone, is she prepared to face her biggest fear of being buried with her mother? And once her mother reads this, will she retract her offer? Joanne tackles the trials and tribulations of modern life with hilarious, charming, irreverence. Joanne wants you to know that she wrote this herself, but stands by the previous line 100%.